there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
