I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My vagina is officially offended.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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