how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
whose parrot is this?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
