Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
