i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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