I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
