I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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