Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
tequila makes me forget i have legs
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
