that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
