how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He better not be in your backpack
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
