On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
