I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
