You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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