I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
