I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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