covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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