How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
