i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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