I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
