a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
