I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
