Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
