does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
