His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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