trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It's blow job season.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
