Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
