Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
honey bunches of taint.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
