Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
