ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
ttyl tear gas
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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