You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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