Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
