Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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