Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
