I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
