Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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