i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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