Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
