I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize