i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
