Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I want to be your penis for a week.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
