Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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