I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
