On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
