got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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