Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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