I want to walk on stilts...naked
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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