The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
