I don't think brook has ever known best
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
