so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Panties = found
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
