are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
