Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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