He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
