everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
