one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
