I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
