That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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