playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
