So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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