just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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