Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
4 words: hood of his car
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize