I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
