Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
