Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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