Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
